Before I start this post, I want to make it very clear that I am not referring to asphyxiation play to induce hypoxia or blackout through tracheal choking or arterial pressure when I use the term gentle breath control play here. I’m not going to go into the details of these particular methods of asphyxiation play, nor the very real risks involved, however, I do feel a responsibility to at least include The Medical Realities of Breath Control Play by Jay Wiseman as further reading regarding these methods of edge play.
When Cuiplash and I play with breath the psychological factor far outweighs the physical. The simple act of gently placing his hand around my throat or over my mouth is enough to induce, in me, a ‘relax and submit’ instinct that is very powerful mentally. It is strangely focusing and deeply calming, despite the implied potential for harm. I know and trust implicitly, however, that he would never squeeze to actually cut off air or blood supply but I think the ‘head fuck’ of the implied threat is what causes a rush of adrenaline and, in turn, arousal in my body, feeding my responses to him.
Added to that, the humiliation of actually enjoying that perceived and symbolic threat as well as being made to admit it out loud to him, and myself, has been significant in pushing my boundaries and struggles around verbalising physical preferences and needs.
Prior to introducing this element into play we spent time researching and discussing limits around it and agreed on a clear non verbal signal to indicate stop, in addition to our already established verbal signal. As per my previous posts in this series, Kis’s Kinks – knife play and Kis’s kinks – flogging, safety and PRICK risk awareness are paramount and we also agreed that I would never have my hands restrained if he were to place a hold of this kind, no matter how gently, to allow me to double tap him wherever if necessary to indicate cessation of the hold.
Cuiplash may use a gentle throat hold as a physical trigger when we depart or reunite, and has also done this if I’m particularly stressed and flapping a bit at home over…whatever, and just like a hair hold it’ll immediately calm me down. He calls it my ‘bunny flip’ as there is a particular hold that can be used to position rabbits that will cause a calm to come over them (great for administering medication or nail clipping, not so great for them for fun but I digress). During play this will become a method of restraint, to physically gently yet psychologically strongly hold me in place, as well to increase submissive head space and arousal.
A mouth or mouth and nose hold will have a similar effect, with the added factor of silencing. To me, this increases sensation processing too as a method of sensory deprivation. He may cover my mouth so I can still breathe through my nose, or cover my mouth and nose in such a way I can still breathe through my mouth. There was one instance however where, at the exact moment I orgasmed for him, he pinched my nose as well as covering my mouth. Well. It was for no more than a few seconds and no longer really than I would breath hold myself naturally, but the effect was so incredibly explosive that the force of the orgasm that ripped through me wiped me out. I double tapped his hand and came for what felt like forever.
No contact breath control play is another thing we explore, and as I’ve always had a tendency to subconsciously breath hold during impact play and in the build up to orgasm, some kind of self induced hypoxia, Cuiplash will control this by redirecting me to breathe. His sadistic side will incorporate a more forceful swat, strike or throw during impact with a redirection to breathe, and he will use orgasm control to edge and deny unless I breathe through the sensation overload and not breath hold. I have to say both are pretty effective methods of non contact breath modification, as much as being directed to breath hold.
Non contact breath control play will also heighten mindfulness for me during play, as well as encouraging subspace, as my concentration on my breath, almost meditative in nature, will then merge with the sensations I’m experiencing, and I find that more oxygen in my blood flow will carry me through increased pain tolerance and stronger orgasms, and as a result I’ve certainly learned to breathe!