Knife play is something Cuiplash and I discussed some time ago during our regular talks about things we’d be open to trying and experiencing within our play and scenes. We were both in agreement, however, that we wanted to introduce knife play in such a way that it was for sensation and ‘head fucks’ only and not to actually break skin or draw blood. We were keen to incorporate knife play to widen our repertoire of sensation tools and push my boundaries regarding admittance and humiliation.
There are two types of knife play that Cuiplash will incorporate during play, depending on the nature of the scene. We don’t use them very often, so it is a special treat when he chooses to include either of these tools. One is specifically used during wax play, the other during impact play.
Our wax knife is a beautiful hand carved ebony blade made from a single piece of wood. I gifted Cuiplash with it around 3 years ago, along with a matching hand carved ebony wave paddle that I will discuss in a future post. I sourced the maker on Fetlife and chose the pieces from a selection he had hand crafted. I think because I had chosen it I already loved it. It has a smooth ergonomic form that fits perfectly in the palm and warms to the touch. The blade edge and tip are polished just enough that it feels deliciously sharp against the skin yet no lasting marks are left beyond some reddening. I like this sensation a lot as it feels dangerous yet is perfectly safe.
Cuiplash uses the wax blade on me to primarily scrape away hardening wax or solid wax during wax play (another topic for a future post) and I have had the pleasure of experiencing the sensations elicited by this knife across my back, bottom, thighs, stomach and breasts. It actually feels quite relaxing, despite the fact it’s a blade, so play with this tool creates a conflicting contrast of emotion. The sensation is both soothing yet exciting. He’ll sometimes use the tip for sensation play alone, drawing a continuous line across my skin that causes a rush of goosebumps and giggles in equal measure.
The other knife was one that took me by pleasant surprise quite recently as I didn’t know he had bought it, nor that it was a knife that he happened to be using. Now, for some, I understand this would be a hard limit but our relationship is one where I know he has my best interests at heart. We had also long ago also discovered that I have a play preference where I do not wish to know what is coming next because this keeps me ‘in my head’ as I anticipate the next step whereas, when I don’t know, I’m able to let those expectations fall away and I become free to just experience and not overthink or guess what is coming next.
Initially I thought he was using our bamboo paddle during impact, although something about it felt different, smaller and slightly sharper in sensation. He spanked me across my cheeks and thighs and with each contact I felt a spring and a wrap as it hit. It was warm, although started cold, and increasingly gained heat from me as he continued. He’d also pause to run what felt like an edge up and down my back and legs as I stood bent over our bed blindfolded. I was intrigued as I know intimately the myriad of wonderful impact pain that I experience from our different toys and I just couldn’t place this one. I had an inkling as to what it may be but this is where the head fuck came in. In my mind it felt sharp and I knew it was a blade, but not one I’d felt before. I recall being caught between loving how it felt and experiencing the adrenaline rush of the unknown.
When he asked me if I liked it, and I had to admit that I did, he chuckled and commented that I was his pain slut. I was both humiliated and further aroused as often during play I will have to admit to him how much I like something, or beg for something and to do this creates a powerful sensation of pushing past embarrassment and boundaries that keep me in my comfort zone into not only accepting what I want but also saying it out loud. Verbalising my wants and needs makes them real and no longer hidden. The thing is, of course, he already knows but wants to hear me admit it to him, and myself.
When that particular scene was over and I was curled up inside the cocoon of his body resting and coming back to the here and now I asked what he’d used. He revealed a long thin steel palette knife with a cylindrical steel handle much to my bemusement. A pervertible that he’d picked up in the supermarket whilst getting our weekly shop. Imagining him perusing the knife aisle for more than new kitchen utensils made me laugh, the fact he walked around the shop knowing what he was going to do with it, to me, turned me on. Yes, I am his pain slut indeed.